Wednesday, August 19, 2009

A conversation with Bella...

I have been talking to Bella alot lately about how she joined our family. I have actually had people say to me the past couple of months, that she looks so much like your husband, you could get away with not telling her she is adopted. They follow that with: "So have you decided if you will or not?" I am appalled! Adoption is not a shameful thing in our family. It is a blessing- something we are proud of and something we have experienced ourselves as children of God. However, I do understand that we have an understanding that others may not, and that is why I am not offended by that question.

It did spur me, though, to begin talking and telling Bella bits of her story. I have been talking to her about Guatemala being the place where she was born and other small parts that are appropriate for her. Today in the car, I asked her where she was born and she replied "Matamala, Mommy." She then said, "You and Daddy on airplane to get me." I told her yes and that we brought her home to live with us in our family forever and ever. As I watched her in my rear view mirror, she looked at me with her big, brown eyes and smiled BIG and said "You saved me, Mommy!"

Now, let me start off with saying that I have never said that to her nor have I included that in her 'story' of how she became our daughter. I must say, her adoption did not start because we wanted to save an orphan. Not that there is anything wrong with that reason. It just wasn't ours. We felt called to adopt and wanted to add to our family. It caught me off guard, but then I saw her face and realized her lingo. You see, anytime I leave Bella somewhere, like school or my mom's or a sitter, or even her with her daddy, when I come back, she runs at me with her arms wide open and says " Mommy... You saved me!!!!" I am not sure where or how she developed this tradition and language, because we never use it. It just makes me smile to know that less than 2 years ago, we picked up a 13 month old baby girl that was frail and scared and did not know how to show affection. In all my 4 visits, I had never even heard her laugh and rarely smile. But today... she is vibrant and affectionate beyond belief and literally bounces everywhere she goes.

It is wonderful to know that she has found her security in us. That she KNOWS we are there to take care of her and she rests in that and is confident in that. How many children do not have that confidence? How many children go to sleep every night with no one to kiss them goodnight or to tell them they love them? How many children are scared and lonely and sick and have no one to give them the assurance that they will "save them" in the sense that they know someone will always be there for them? My daughter doesn't have to worry about where her next meal will come from or where she will sleep or wonder why she is empty inside. Because of adoption, she can just be a child. That one thing alone is BIG. Please look outside of yourself and ask the Lord if He is wanting you to step out and do this. As Christians (and I believe, just as humans), we are called to take care of the least among us. I cannot bear to think what my daughter would be dealing with this day if things were different. I am not saying we are wonderful because we 'saved an orphan". I do not view her joining our family that way and never will. But, things are different for her now. Things are different for us now. Our eyes have been open and we will never look at things the same way again. Just some food for thought.

It reminds me that her adoption is a reality of what Jesus did for my life. He saved me and now I am full of life, know how to love and be loved and am no longer frail in sin and have joy unspeakable. WOW!!! Aren't you glad He saves???

What she has yet to find out, is that she, in a way, saved us. God used her precious life to show us how much He loves us and how He adopted us into His family. He also used her adoption to fuel a passion in us for the orphans in this world.

I don't think I will ever forget this converstaion today. My baby girl is wise beyond her years!


  1. It's always interesting to me the language that children use (for adoption and other stuff) and the meaning that we, as adults, put on those words. Medina sometimes talks about her real family, meaning her family in Ethiopia. It's not that she thinks we are any less her real family but remembering terms like biological or birth family is hard for her. I talk to Ruby about her story but she really doesn't get it yet. She knows she's from Guatemala and Medina's from Ethiopia. If I ask her if she has a mom in Guatemala, she says yes but I don't think she really understands what it means.

  2. It's wonderful to hear how well your baby girl is doing! And all of you!

  3. What a great way for her to think of this, and you can continue to add to it. She is truly special. I am amazed at how much adoption has changed and blessed my life. I am such a different person now.

    OHHHHHHHHHH, I do love the will you tell him he is adopted question.

  4. I love this quote, "What she has yet to find out, is that she, in a way, saved us. God used her precious life to show us how much He loves us and how He adopted us into His family. He also used her adoption to fuel a passion in us for the orphans in this world."

    This is EXACTLY how I feel!! Thank you for putting my feelings into words!

  5. That is just beautiful! Thanks for sharing! It's fun to talk to Hudson about it too. I often tell him. "Isn't it wonderful that God brought you ALL THE WAY from Guatemala to be our son!!" We are so blessed. I love ya!